Navigating a Neurodivergent Diagnosis Later in Life: Understanding, Coping, and Embracing Change
Contributed by Alicia Cornwell, LPC-Associate, Supervised by Chelsea Fielder-Jenks, LPC-Supervisor
Receiving a neurodivergent diagnosis later in life can be life-changing in ways you might not expect. Regardless of the label(s), finding out that there’s a name for your experiences can bring a mix of relief and new challenges. For many, this diagnosis doesn’t just offer explanation for certain behaviors—it redefines how they understand themselves and their place in the world.
This newfound awareness can also include a journey of grief as you reflect and reconceptualize your experiences. You might wonder how life would have been different if you’d known sooner. In this blog post, we’ll explore what it means to receive a neurodivergent diagnosis later in life, how it can impact your mental health, and what steps you can take to navigate this change with compassion and support.
Understanding the Neurodivergent Umbrella
Neurodivergence is an umbrella term used to describe a variety of neurological differences—literally, "neuro" meaning brain, and "divergence" meaning a deviation from what is considered “typical.” These brain differences shape how people experience and interact with the world. Neurodivergence can include conditions like Autism, ADHD, Tic Disorders, Traumatic Brain Injuries, and more. Each of these conditions impacts individuals differently—some may struggle with sensory overload, while others find social interactions particularly challenging.
It’s also important to note that the concept of neurodivergence is based on a rigid understanding of what is considered "normal." This idea of normalcy doesn’t capture the vast range of human experiences, which is why many people actually fall under the neurodivergent umbrella. Neurodivergence exists on a spectrum, meaning each person’s experience is unique.
It's also crucial to recognize that individuals from marginalized identities, particularly BIPOC communities, are disproportionately overlooked or misdiagnosed when it comes to neurodivergence. This is largely due to the fact that much of the research and diagnostic criteria are rooted in a white, Western-centered framework, leaving out the diverse experiences of non-white individuals. Systemic oppression further compounds these challenges, as bias in healthcare, education, and social services can limit access to proper diagnosis and support. The result is that many people from these communities are left without the resources they need, or are pathologized in ways that don’t reflect their true lived experiences. These intersecting factors highlight the importance of more inclusive research and practices that account for the full range of human neurodiversity.
Illustration by: Anna Bergbauer | Credit: Getty Images
The Emotional Impact of a Late Diagnosis
For many neurodivergent individuals, especially those diagnosed later in life, masking has been a survival tool. Masking refers to the ways neurodivergent people hide or downplay their traits to fit into a neurotypical world. Over time, though, this can lead to exhaustion and burnout. Recognizing this pattern can be both eye-opening and liberating as you begin to embrace your true self.
Finding out you’re neurodivergent later in life can trigger a whirlwind of emotions. Relief is often the first feeling—finally, that there’s an explanation for the things you’ve struggled with for years. But relief is just the beginning. Many people also experience confusion or grief as they start to reflect on their past with this new perspective. You may find yourself asking, “How did I go this long without knowing this?”, or “You mean everything doesn’t have to be this hard?”.
For some, this re-examination of the past can bring up feelings of anxiety, depression, sadness and grief. You might realize you’ve been “white-knuckling” through life, pushing through challenges without knowing why they were so difficult. A late diagnosis can also uncover past traumas, as many neurodivergent individuals have experienced years of being misunderstood or not receiving the support they needed. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed—it’s a lot to process.
That said, a late diagnosis also offers a path forward. It’s a chance to finally understand yourself and make changes that align with your true needs. You may start to notice things you’ve overlooked before—sensory sensitivities, social exhaustion, or even emotional patterns that now make sense. This newfound awareness can be both a relief and a challenge, but with time and support, it’s possible to navigate this transition in a way that feels empowering.
Navigating the Challenges and Embracing Change
Adjusting to a neurodivergent diagnosis can be daunting, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Here are some steps to help manage the challenges and embrace this new understanding of yourself.
Enlist Support
Navigating a new diagnosis is tough, and having support is crucial. Lean on your support system, even if it means challenging old beliefs about asking for help or setting new boundaries. Small changes in how others communicate with you or meet your needs can make a big difference. Finding a therapist experienced in neurodivergence can be life-changing. Therapy provides a safe space to process your diagnosis, develop personalized coping strategies, and unpack any trauma from years of misunderstanding yourself. A good therapist can guide you in making changes to better align with your needs.
Explore Your Sensory Needs
Many neurodivergent people have sensory sensitivities—either heightened or seeking specific sensory input. Pay attention to what affects you and make adjustments where you can. Creating sensory-friendly spaces, whether at home or in busy environments, can bring more comfort. Get curious about how sensory experiences impact your mood and emotions. As you learn more, develop tools like grounding exercises, deep breathing, or mindfulness to manage overwhelming emotions. These techniques can be especially helpful during times of stress.
Seek Out Additional Resources
Books like Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed For You by Jenara Nerenberg, and Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price PhD, along with podcasts like Divergent Conversations Podcast, offer valuable insights and community support. Educating yourself can deepen your understanding and help you feel more connected to the broader neurodivergent community.
Practice Self-Compassion
Receiving a neurodivergent diagnosis can shift your entire worldview. Suddenly, things start to make sense in ways they didn’t before. Be kind to yourself during this transition. It’s okay to feel confused or frustrated. Remember, you’ve been doing your best without the full picture—now you have a clearer understanding to move forward with.
Learn more about self-compassion on the Healgood Blog.
Living with neurodivergence is a lifelong journey of learning and adapting. Keep building your coping toolbox, trying new strategies, and discovering what works best for you. Over time, these skills will help you navigate challenges with more ease. A neurodivergent diagnosis later in life can be both daunting and empowering. While it may bring up feelings of grief or confusion, it also offers a deeper understanding of who you are. Remember that this is just the beginning of a new chapter, one where you can approach life with more clarity and self-compassion.
You don’t have to go through this alone. Whether it’s working with a therapist, connecting with loved ones, or diving into resources, there are ways to build a support system that helps you thrive. Embrace the journey, and know that it’s okay to take things one step at a time.