Balancing New Year's Resolutions with Acceptance and Change
Welcome to a New Year of Growth and Well-Being!
As we step into the promising embrace of a new year, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the past and envisioning the future. It's a time when resolutions are crafted with the best intentions, fueled by the desire for positive change. However, as a Licensed Professional Counselor with a specialization in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), I encourage you to approach your resolutions with a unique perspective—one that incorporates the principles of acceptance and change.
The Core Dialectic: Acceptance and Change
DBT, developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, is rooted in the principle of dialectics, the idea that two seemingly contradictory truths can coexist. The core dialectic in DBT is the interplay between acceptance and change. This dialectic encourages us to accept ourselves and our circumstances while simultaneously striving for positive transformation. With this intention in mind, I invite you to practice the following:
Invitation 1: Embrace Radical Acceptance
Before diving into the excitement of setting resolutions, take a moment to practice radical acceptance. Acknowledge the aspects of your life that are beyond your control. Radical acceptance doesn't imply approval; rather, it frees you from the emotional burden of fighting against reality. By accepting your starting point without judgment, you create a foundation for meaningful and sustainable change.
Invitation 2: Set Realistic and Specific Goals
When crafting your resolutions, be mindful of the SMART criteria—goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. DBT aligns with this framework by encouraging clear and realistic objectives. Instead of setting broad, overwhelming goals, break them down into smaller, manageable steps. This not only makes the process less daunting but also increases the likelihood of success.
Invitation 3: Walk the Middle Path with Self-Compassion
In DBT, the concept of the Middle Path teaches us to navigate extremes and find balance. Apply this principle to your resolutions by avoiding the pitfalls of perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking. Practice self-compassion. Recognize that setbacks are a natural part of any journey, and rather than viewing them as failures, see them as opportunities for learning and growth.
Invitation 4: Incorporate Mindfulness
Mindfulness, a cornerstone of DBT, involves cultivating awareness of the present moment without judgment. Infuse mindfulness into your goal-setting process by regularly checking in with yourself. Ask, "Am I being true to my values? Am I taking steps in line with my goals?" This self-awareness enhances your ability to adapt and adjust your resolutions as needed.
Invitation 5: Foster Supportive Relationships
DBT emphasizes the importance of relationships in promoting well-being. Share your resolutions with trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Having a support system can provide encouragement, accountability, and a sense of connection, making your journey more enriching and sustainable.
As you embark on this new year, may your resolutions be a testament to the delicate dance of acceptance and change. Remember, the path to well-being is not a linear one, but one filled with twists, turns, and opportunities for growth. May you find strength in both acceptance and change, weaving a tapestry of transformation that aligns with your authentic self.
Wishing you a year of balance, resilience, and flourishing mental health.
~ Chelsea