Navigating the Teen Years: What's Typical and Not So Typical
by Chelsea Fielder-Jenks, MA, LPC-S, CEDS-S, PMH-C
For many parents, their teen’s behavior causes them concern and leaves them questioning, “Is this normal? Should I be worried?”
The teenage years are a rollercoaster of emotions, challenges, and growth for both teens and their families. Frequent questions we get asked by parents of teens is, “Is this normal teen behavior?” “How can I best support my teen in this life stage?” and “Could my teen benefit from therapy?”
Understanding what's typical and not so typical during this developmental stage can provide valuable insights and support. In this blog, we'll explore common behaviors and experiences for teens in the context of their developmental stage and what may be some indicators that you or your teen could benefit from additional support.
Developmental Milestones - Typical & Not So Typical Teen Behavior
Important Teen Milestone: Independence Exploration
It is important for teens to build their sense of autonomy, self-confidence, capability, and self-efficacy.
What's Typical: Teens naturally seek independence and autonomy as they explore their identities. They may push boundaries, question authority, and express a desire to make more decisions on their own.
Not So Typical: While seeking independence is normal, extreme isolation or complete withdrawal from family activities might signal an underlying issue.
Important Teen Milestone: Riding the Emotional Rollercoaster
The teen years is a developmentally challenging time where shifts in hormones and neurophysiological create an increased vulnerability to experiencing mood swings and intense emotions.
What's Typical: Mood swings, intense emotions, and heightened sensitivity are part of the adolescent experience. Teens are learning to navigate complex feelings and relationships.
Not So Typical: Persistent, extreme mood swings or emotional dysregulation. If emotions consistently disrupt daily life, relationships, and/or academics, it's essential to address these challenges.
Important Teen Milestone: Social Connection & Prioritization of Peer Relationships
The teen years are a key time for building social and relational skills.
What's Typical: Teens often prioritize peer relationships, valuing friendships and social connections. They may gravitate towards spending more time with peers and less time with family.
Not So Typical: Significant isolation or disconnection from family. Excessive social withdrawal or an inability to form and maintain friendships may indicate difficulties in interpersonal effectiveness.
Important Teen Milestone: Experimentation and Curiosity
The teen years are an important time for identity and purpose exploration.
What's Typical: Teens may experiment with new interests and hobbies, challenge or go against family values, and even question their beliefs. This curiosity is part of their journey to self-discovery and identity development.
Not So Typical: Experimentation that takes a dangerous turn or leads to harmful or high-risk behaviors or patterns. Note: Some teens may experiment with high-risk behaviors at times (e.g., alcohol or drug experimentation, physical and sexual boundary exploration, fearless driving) - however, it is important to distinguish between normative experimentation and behaviors that may pose serious risks to the teen's well-being.
Important Teen Milestone: Resistance to Authority
The teen years are an important time to build a sense of autonomy, agency, and ability to make good decisions independently.
What's Typical: Pushing back against parental rules is common as teens strive to assert their independence, explore their personal boundaries, and build confidence in making their own decisions.
Not So Typical: Extreme defiance or hostility towards authority figures, ignoring or challenging rules or expectations that put them in harms way or risk their well-being in any way.
Bottom Line: If a teen’s behavior disrupts their daily life, relationships, and/or academics, or if their behavior risks their well-being or exposes them to harm in any way, it's essential to address these challenges.
Neuropsychological Underpinnings
Neuropsychological and physiological development intricately shape the landscape of typical and not-so-typical behaviors exhibited by teens during their formative years. The adolescent brain undergoes significant rewiring, particularly in regions associated with impulse control, emotional regulation, and decision-making. While typical challenges like seeking independence and forming social connections are integral components of healthy development, not-so-typical behaviors may emerge when neurobiological factors interact with external stressors. Understanding these physiological underpinnings provides context for the challenges teens face. The pursuit of independence serves as a vital aspect of identity formation, and emotional intensity fosters resilience and adaptability. Recognizing the delicate interplay between neural development and behavior informs our approaches at Healgood — such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which addresses both the physiological and psychological aspects — guiding teens toward healthier patterns of thinking and coping during this critical phase of life.
Seeking Support
“At Healgood, we…
… encourage open communication to understand the reasons behind teens’ behaviors.
… empower teens to navigate relationships more effectively.
… provide teens with tools for distress tolerance and healthy decision-making.
… help teens express their needs more effectively.”
For teens and families navigating “not so typical” developmental challenges, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) serves as a powerful ally. When faced with emotional dysregulation, social withdrawal, or harmful experimentation, DBT equips teens with invaluable skills for increasing mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. By participating in a DBT group, teens gain practical tools to navigate their challenges more skillfully, express their needs more effectively, and make informed decisions. The therapeutic environment fosters a sense of empowerment, encouraging open communication within families and promoting resilience in the face of emotional and behavioral struggles. Healgood's holistic approach offers a roadmap for teens and their families, guiding them towards improved emotional well-being and healthier relationships during this crucial developmental stage.
Navigating the teen years requires a delicate balance of understanding what's typical and recognizing when behaviors might indicate underlying challenges. At Healgood, we provide valuable tools and strategies for both teens and their families to enhance emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, and overall well-being. By fostering open communication and utilizing the skills learned in therapy, families can navigate the unique journey of adolescence with resilience and support.